‘The Crazy Teenage Year’s’ with Rebekah and Jason Raitz.

This was a highlight for me!

I am someone who absolutely loves being a dad. And, I have the honor of being the dad to 5 pretty amazing kids. Rebekah Raitz is an almost high school graduate, who in my opinion, has leadership gifts off the chart.

We do our best to have an conversation about The Crazy Teenage Years. Why they’re so crazy. Why parents are crazy. Why teens are crazy. And, honestly, why it doesn’t have to be all that crazy!

Thanks for watching with your teen. Comment below with any questions or further thoughts you have.

Here is our outline:

Title: The Crazy Teenage Years

Description: Parenting through the Crazy Teenager Years. Teenaging through the teenage years.

Teenagers are Crazy. Parents are Crazy. Teenagers think parents are crazy. Parents think teenagers are crazy. But, does it have to be so crazy.

So many parents think they have to rule with an iron fist and some have convinced themselves that they will never have a great relationship with their teens. But, here’s the crazy part, you don’t have to rule with an iron first. You can not only get through the crazy years, you can have a great relationship with your teenager.

So, we’re going to have a crazy honest conversation about how it doesn’t have to be all that crazy.

————————————————————————————————————-

Opening Story: Jason: Parents are crazy!

  • I saw some crazy stuff as a youth pastor. Helicopter parents. Helicopter parents times 10. Hippie Parents. Karokee Parents. Iron Fist Parents.
  • Teenagers are crazy. Some are lazy. Some are hard working. Some want everything handed to them.

Story: Small Group and jr. high boy sneezed all over my face. Parent wanted her son to text her every 30 minutes on the retreat.

Why the Teenage Years are Crazy

5 Crazy Things from a Teenagers Perspective [Rebekah]

  1. Everything’s changing.
  2. Friends and Frenemies are a big in that moment.
  3. High School is stupid stressful.
  4. Bullying is a real thing and no matter how small it is, it will impact a teen the same.
  5. They have to figure out the rest of their lives in four short years.

5 Crazy things from a Parents Perspective [Jason]

  1. Everything’s changing. This where they’re learning independence. Mom and Dad aren’t as smart as they once were.
  2. Teenagers are dealing with more stress than ever before.
    1. Recent study that said the average teenager has the same levels of PTSD as returning WW2 soldiers.
    2. Technology, instant information has aged kids
    3. Bad choices will change the direction of their entire life
  3. They need rest. Growing faster than any other time in their life except the first year. They need 10 hours a night
    1. Do they have any down time?
  4. Figure out the balance of school and life. Growing up quicker than ever before.
    1. Learning so much more about sex & relationships from social media
  5. Parental Pressure is crazy intense
    1. Is my kid doing enough
    2. Studying enough
    3. Chicago area.

5 Ways to make the Parent – Teenage Relationship Not so Crazy

 

  • We Communicate.

 

      1. Jason: I learned that it works the best when She is ready.
      2. Rebekah: Do it right away. Don’t wait.
        1. Story: Bekah’s frustration about the STUPID GOOGLE CALENDAR
          1. So frustrating. Every time I open my laptop, I have a million and have to close them.
      3. Practical Ways to communicate.
        1. Group chat with parents.
        2. Don’t get angry or manipulative in texts
        3. Always begin with encouragement and end with I love you.
        4. Story: Bekah leaving post it note for Jason
        5. Story: Bekah, hey, I’m so proud of you, but you need to do this and I love you
        6. Jason: Ask for Bekah’s opinion
        7. Actually be honest. Talk about the tough stuff. The easy stuff.
      4. Ask Great Questions and Actually Listen to reponses

 

  • Go on trips together

 

      1. Story: Our trips
        1. Started with KS, had to cancel, packed bags, armpit surgery
        2. KS, CA, Ecuador, Vegas on 18th
        3. Story: Vegas for 18th
      2. Even if you can’t go far away, go somewhere together.
        1. Shopping, dinner, hanging out
        2. Daddy Daughter Dates
      3. Plan out trips. Put a date night on the calendar.

 

  • Be accepting of the PLAN

 

      1. Jason: Would have loved for Bekah to go away to Bible College and prepare to work at a church someday
      2. Bekah: Wants to go into Forensic Psy and not Bible College
      3. That’s ok. Trust her. Be accepting.
      4. Bekah: How have you dealt with Dad wanting you to do bible college and ministry?
        1. A little push aside, stuck with my plan and always have listened. Not been dismissive.

 

  • Model being actively involved in Faith and Church

 

      1. Bekah: Never really forced beliefs on me. Showed what the Bible says.
      2. Story: Reading the Bible as a little girl
      3. Jason: here’s where I’ve messed up, should have read the bible more
      4. Bekah: Never really forced me to go to Church or Youth Group
      5. Jason: As a family, our rule has always been to be actively engaged. That means Church, youth group, serving and giving.
      6. Bekah: I had some rough years in Youth group a few years ago and wanted to leave. My dad gave me the decision to stay or step away. That freedom of making the decision made me want to stay.
      7. Bekah: Get involved. Actually show up. Don’t in your mind make it a chore to be a part of church. Make your own community.
      8. Jason: Actually care what your kids think about church.
        1. Ask Questions, talk as a family.
        2. Start as young as possible in respecting what they think
        3. Treat them how you want to be treated
        4. Parents, your kids will model how u treat them. If you snap at them, they will snap back

 

  • The right Friends are so important

 

    1. Be ok with your teenagers friends but voice your opinion
    2. Get to know them

 

Mom and dads nothing easy about this job

Teens nothing easy about this job

BUT, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT CRAZY

 

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