The Toughest Year of My Life…

This is pretty tough to write about. life-is-hard-so-very-beautiful_large

Actually, I’ve wanted to write about this for months, but it’s just been too hard.

Like the kind of hard that’s even hard to go to the thought in your mind. 

Have you had those kind of ‘hard thoughts’? I bet you have.

2012 was my toughest year yet. 

Yes, I’m only 37 and I have a lot of life ahead of me, but wow, I’m praying and asking God that if it’s not absolutely necessary, I would love to not experience a year like that again.

If He deems it’s what I need, than obviously I will go through it and find the beauty in the pain.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer”…Romans 12:2 (ESV)

I told a close friend recently that 2012 was my toughest year yet and they said…


They said, “all the stuff you’ve been through and it was the toughest”?

Yes. The Toughest. Tougher than house fires, losing all of our stuff from that fire, leaving Churches that I loved, a pretty nasty infection from a surgery, bankruptcy from a failed ministry dream, having two kids with PKU, and the list goes on.

2012 was tough.

It was hard. It was frustrating. It was painful. There was loss. There was grief. There was pain. There was stress. There was worry. There was anxiety.

There was loss friendships and honestly…that hurt the most.

Mostly because I stepped out in faith to start something new. It wasn’t my timing and never in a million years did I think I would be stepping out so quickly, but that’s the hand I was dealt so I needed to make the best of it.


It was also a great year.

Never in my wildest imagination did I think or believe so many people would help and support me get Live Now off the ground. Wow, what a tremendous blessing!

Life is hard, but so very beautiful!

I know, I KNOW, that even in the midst of all the pain, the hurt, the sadness of 2012…GREAT things have come of it.

I can see the beauty in the pain. I can see the good that has come. I can see the hope.

And, I know that 2013 is going to be a fantastic year. 

Fantastic because I’ve heard from God about my direction.

Fantastic because God has brought an incredible community into my life.

Fantastic because God has clarified my vision and my calling.

Fantastic because even in the midst of pain and hurt, God has brought an enormous amount of life and beauty.

2012 was tough. But, 2012 is over. All I can do now is learn from it.

I’m excited because of what is to come. What is about to happen. What is about to be birthed.

Psalm 43:5 (The Message)

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He’s my God.


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