I have. I admit it.
Let me back up. I have felt that say way during times when I have dealt with depression. Yes, I have had seasons in the past where depression has got the best of me. And, in those seasons, there have been areas of my life, that yes, I have stopped caring.
Caring about my health, caring about working out, caring about talking, caring about being with friends.
This is not I’m what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about caring about the stuff that doesn’t matter.
I have sort of stopped caring…about the stuff that doesn’t matter.
- I use to get so stressed out about the cleanliness of our house. I mean, I was a crazy person when it came to our house being clean. And, it had to be done in a certain way. I don’t like piles or clutter or mess. I have 4 kids!!!!! That’s not possible to have an absolutely spotless house with 4 kids. It’s just not. I tried. I drove my family crazy. I spent so much time cleaning when I could have spent time on walks with my kids or playing catch or reading to them. Now, I still love a clean house, but I have stopped caring so much about it being perfect all the time.
- I use to get so stressed out about what people thought of me and I’m trying, TRYING, to stop caring as much as I once did. But, gosh, this is the super tough one. I have spent so much time waging an internal battle in my head and heart when it came to what my perceptions were of someone else’s thoughts about me.
- I use to care way too much about my social media presence. I know that is a HUGE surprise, but gosh, I cared way too much. I would lose a friend on facebook and I wonder…”what did I do”, “why did they defined me”? I would care about how many likes or how many views on my blog or how many twitter followers. Gosh, I can’t believe I wasted all that time worrying about stuff that didn’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, it still burns more than it should when someone de-friends me. I found out recently that a former co-worker de-friended me and it stung a bit. But, everyday, I’m trying to not care.
What I do care about…
1. Pleasing God. Yup, that’s my main concern these days. Trust me, I’ve worked hard in the past trying to please myself and trying to live out ‘Jason’s’ plan for my life. I am concentrating on just pleasing my heavenly father. It’s hard. I am so damn selfish at times, but I’m trying to be His son and bask in his love.
- Trusting Him, Praising Him, Offering myself to Him, Praying to Him, Getting to know Him, Giving to Him and Following Him.
2. Following God’s plan for my life. My journey has taken a ton of turns. Unexpected turns, bumps in the road, pits in the way, roadblocks and lost signal on the gps. But, for the first time in a long time, I believe…I feel…I know…that I have listened to God’s voice and I’m moving forward with His plan.
- That means that I’m using the gifts He’s given me to bring Hope to as many people as I can.
- Hope into public schools and Hope into a local church.
3. Pleasing and taking care of my family. There are so many times that I fall short of my own expectations, but I am working hard to please and care for my family.
- Spend great amounts of time with them. Make memories with them. Give us great stories to live and to tell.
4. Taking care of myself. I’m trying to be really focused on caring about my health. My physical, emotional, financial and spiritual health.