They haunt me, they plague me and they follow me around with extreme diligence.
I wish I could break free of them. I really do. I wish it was as easy to break free as it is to engage in them. But, the reality is it’s not. It hasn’t always been this way. I have had victory with them in the past and I will in the future. But, currently, there on the leader board.
Here’s the thing about struggles…they love to hold on. They love to penetrate your heart and cause it worry. They seep into your brain and begin doing what they do best…they lie.
Yes, struggles lie. They lie all the time. They tell you things that aren’t true and they tell you these things at such an alarming pace that eventually you begin to believe them.
And when you do start to believe them, they can be paralyzing. They can hold you back from the Life that God wants for you and they can make you feel like your walking on a tread mill that’s going nowhere.
My Tough Struggles
1. My weight. Gosh, I could write a book on the struggle that I have with my weight. UP and down, UP and down! Currently I’m UP. Oh, and UP is bad! I’ve gained 9 pounds the last two months and it’s so incredibly HARD to get them off! I have made giant leaps this year to living healthier. I lost almost 40 pounds from April to June and then July and August the wheels fell off. Then, these past two months have been our most stressful financial months ever and when I stress out about money, I eat. It’s a terrible cycle and incredibly painful.
On top of that, I have a back that just won’t cooperate. I was hit by a car when I was younger and it’s troubled me since. Honestly, I have never had a NO PAIN day because of my back. I am always in pain. Bending, sitting, adjusting…all pain. There was a 8 month window when we lived in Chicago when it was at its best. I was swimming 4-5 days a week and seeing an incredible Chiropractor/PT and Massage Therapist. Those were good days!
But, I love to run! my doctor says it’s the worst thing on my back ever. And, I can’t get to a gym. So, I struggle through.
2. My finances. Let me begin by saying this…my struggle with finances has been caused by my decision to start an organization from scratch. I didn’t have a 6-8 month emergency fund, like my hero Dave Ramsey talks about having. Every day, every week and every month it’s improving. God has blessed us like I can’t even believe. He has moved in peoples hearts to help us like I could never imagine and I’m so THANKFUL!
I live a BLESSED life.
But, I’m in a phase where I raise the annual budget for Live Now Leadership (which includes my salary) and I’m at 35% raised. I’ve been amazed by the gifts we’ve received and the great conversations I’m having with people who are interested in supporting Live Now. What a blessing!
So, not having a consistent paycheck for the last 5 months is both an exhilarating and it’s an anxiety filled ride. It’s exciting because I know we’re walking by Faith. I know God has called me to be a speaker. This is what I do best in life. I encourage and motivate people. So, I get to live my dream and it’s amazing! It’s stress filled, because my first priority in life is to provide for my family of six and I’m not able to provide for them the way I would like to right now…but I know I will!
3. My patience. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love is patient. The greek word patience actually means ‘to take a long time to boil’. My patience is not taking a long time right now. I’ve been short with my wife, my kids, my friends and my dog. And…goodness…other drivers. I’ve lived in Central MI now for 2 years. I still haven’t gotten use to driving here. This is no offense to CM drivers, but wow, we are slow bunch! I grew up in Detroit, lived in the suburbs of Detroit and then the suburbs of Chicago. We don’t drive slow there. We get somewhere and we get there quick.
I feel like sometimes people take a vacation on their right turns!!!!!
Needless to say, it’s been short.
Even though I have struggles, I am finding GREAT JOY in them. I am seeing the BEAUTY in them and I know sweeter days are ahead.
Tomorrow I write about what I’m doing to see that joy and beauty.