When relationships become painful…

When relationships work…the plus sides are beyond imagination.

A positive, loving friendship can fill voids. It can heal wounds. It can cover loneliness and pain. They can bring laughter. Smiles. Love. Kindness. Patience. Needs can be met.

But, when relationships don’t work or they start to go down a painful path…look out…great pain could be ahead. A broken heart may follow if you’re not careful. 

Everyone has experienced the pain that relationships can bring.

Hurtful words are said out of pain or jealousy and they can rip a part a relationship.

Less time is spent together.

The phone calls diminish.

Text messages evaporate.

Other friends or family start asking what’s going on.

Anxiety can fill your mind and heart and once that starts, look out, it’s all down hill from there.

I spend a lot of time with people and I have heard thousands of relationship stories over the years. I love relationships and I love to help people succeed in their relationships and so here are a few thoughts about the pain that can come from relationships.

When relationships become painful…

1. Turn to God. It’s amazing how quick we try to deal with it on our own. Be humble and pour yourself out to God. Cry to Him. Tell him about the pain. The loneliness and the hurt. He’s ready to hear it and He wants to hear your voice.

2. Turn to the truth. Sometimes pain enters a relationship for the wrong reasons. If you caused it, then own up to it. If you didn’t, don’t listen to the lies that may be swirling in your head. Remind yourself of the truth.

3. Turn to the other person. Reconciliation is an amazing gift from God and can bring about great healing. Be open to it. Approach them humbly. Not over text, or Facebook or email. But, get face to face. Give each other time to talk. Listen. Don’t interrupt. Have empathy. Let your time be covered in prayer and grace.

4. Turn to forgiveness. As much as you can, forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean forgetting, but it can bring great healing.

5. Turn to the future. I’m someone who continually needs to remind myself not to live in the past. Stop thinking through what you should have done. Just do the right thing in the future.

Pain that’s caused from relationships, especially from family or close friends can tear a part your heart. The anxiety of it can disrupt your life.

Do any and everything you can to pursue peace and healing.



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