Yesterday I wrote about my rules for facebook.
Today, I thought I would write about my rules for relationships.
I believe I am in the relationship business. Actually, I believe every human on planet earth is in the relationship business. We were created to share our lives with each other. Our DNA is hard wired to be connected to other people. I know people who hate other people and try to stay far away. I know people who have been so burned by relationships that they avoid them like the plague. That’s just not the way. If you refuse to forgive those who have hurt you and you continue to seclude yourself from human contact, you’re basically asking for pain to come your way.
Refusal to forgive + seclusion = Pain.
Here are my (developing) Rules for Healthy Relationships
1. Don’t miss a chance to encourage. Too often we get a thought to encourage someone and we let it pass right by. Can’t do that. I try to send hand written cards as much as I can, comment on their facebook page, text them and tell them face to face.
2. Treat their kids like gold. I learned this from my boss at Willow Creek, Scott Rubin. I’ve never had a boss/friend treat my kids as incredible as Scott did. He went way out of his way to care for them. I learned a ton from him. I want to build trust with my friends kids and treat them like gold.
3. Pray for them. Not just in my prayer closet of journal but on the phone and when we’re together. I learned this lesson from my mentor, Kevin Winnigham. Kevin never misses a chance to pray for me! It means the world to me.
4. Make everything better. My friend Robin Perko has taught my family and I this lesson time and time again. She brings so much energy, passion and life to relationships. She goes the extra mile to make everything better for her friends and family.
5. Don’t ask, offer. Too often, we know in our spirit that our friend needs help and it’s too hard for them to ask. Well, just offer. As Bob Goff says…”Love Does“.
6. Be fully present. I had the privilege of working with someone who taught me this at a whole new lever. My friend Leah Gleason taught me and showed me how to let go of the distractions, so I could concentrate on being fully present.
7. Believe the best. Life’s too short to play relationship games and second guess everything. I know I have been hurt many times by relationships, but I’ve learned to just believe the best about people.
8. Remember the details. This is one of my passions in life. I want to remember the tiny details of people’s lives. It starts with learning their names, their kids names, what they do, what they love, their birthday, and their favorites.
9. Don’t disappear when their worlds falling a part. I’ve been through a lot in my short almost 37 years on planet earth. What I’ve learned is that most people disappear when their friends go through tragedy. Be there for them. Send them emails, messages, texts and reminders that they’re loved.
10. Say the hard stuff. Not everybody wants to grow. Not everybody thinks that their friends should help them grow. But, I’ve found, once you build a strong relationship with someone you need to say the hard stuff…to help them, to pull them out of their rut and to love them.
I’m probably missing a ton of stuff.
What would you add?